if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
