please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
