I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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