I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
