Soap is not a condiment
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
