i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
