similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
