Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
