Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
