Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I bet he comes in French.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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