OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
