So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
