do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
