Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
