quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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