Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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