I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
