Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
