I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
id be glad to
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
