I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
