apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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