Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
