6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
