From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
