There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
