Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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