honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
