I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
