I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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