Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
