he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
