You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
