Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
