hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's no shave November. This is our time.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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