lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
