i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Too much gin, very little bucket
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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