Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
