Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think my fart just growled at me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
