just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Shame - the story of my life.
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