dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
