What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
