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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
birth control should be required to get into college
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
