I can text with my tongue
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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