So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
