youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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