did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am naked and annoyed.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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