Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's always time for handjobs
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
