dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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