I think I am morally bankrupt
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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