what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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