That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
