Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
