You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
