What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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