Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
there is glitter all over my balls
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